Never give an angry mother peanut butter.

Once upon a morning, five year old Trystan woke up in a delightful, cereal eating type of mood only to discover upon his mother's remark, that indeed, quite shockingly, he had gum stuck in his hair.

At first this completely unlooked for surprise brought on fit after fit of giggles and wiggles, and was the subject of much laughter and mirth at the breakfast table.
Trystan wondered how ever he would remove the gum from his hair. He and his brother Isaac thought perhaps they could pull it out. This idea was ALMOST immediately discarded, and replaced with the theory of BRUSHING IT OUT.

Sadly this idea, too, was found to be without merit, and although many more theories were forthcoming, Mother stepped in to the fray. She said words along the order of NOT and TOLD and REASON, but being relatively uninteresting, the connecting words have been forgotten by all parties involved.

Unfortunately she brought with her several things, including a bit of a twinkle in her eyes and a bit of a glower on her face. She also brought peanut butter, a comb, and a roll of paper towels.

This was met with peals of laughter and some dancing of the feet. Mother grinned a strange grin. Someone asked mother whatever she was planning to do with the peanut butter, seeing as how we had only finished breakfast and were clearly not at all hungry enough for sandwiches. Quickly, however, her intentions became evident.
There was much fussing, and sticky parts abounded everywhere. Someone had to hold the paper towels, and someone had to hold onto the peanut butter, and mother had to hold on to Trystan, who's attitude became full of scowls and growls the stickier he became.
Poor Trystan. At one point the jolly little man even begged to have his head shaved along the order of his Uncle Jake's. We think that mother entertained this idea for a while. Not only did she indeed SAY that she was entertaining the idea, she LOOKED as if she was entertaining the idea. Then, SQUISH, in just the right moment before drastic things would begin to occur, the last of the gum came free from Trystan's hair!! There was much dancing, laughing, and checking to be absolutely certain that there was no more gum hiding on his person.
So, quite luckily, Trystan attended his preschool graduation in much the same hairy state in which he had cutely spent the year. However, though he may have looked the same, he was much wiser. He learned a great lesson.

Never give an angry mother peanut butter.