More things I should not have to say.

"Why did you wipe lipgloss on the television?" was followed about 5 minutes later with the classic question "Did you just wipe a booger on my cat?". If you don't believe me I have witnesses to verify these comments. Yes, both quotations were said in front of company.

My children are the funniest people I know, and apparently we need to work on our manners. Are ALL boys like this?

Never give an angry mother peanut butter.

Once upon a morning, five year old Trystan woke up in a delightful, cereal eating type of mood only to discover upon his mother's remark, that indeed, quite shockingly, he had gum stuck in his hair.

At first this completely unlooked for surprise brought on fit after fit of giggles and wiggles, and was the subject of much laughter and mirth at the breakfast table.
Trystan wondered how ever he would remove the gum from his hair. He and his brother Isaac thought perhaps they could pull it out. This idea was ALMOST immediately discarded, and replaced with the theory of BRUSHING IT OUT.

Sadly this idea, too, was found to be without merit, and although many more theories were forthcoming, Mother stepped in to the fray. She said words along the order of NOT and TOLD and REASON, but being relatively uninteresting, the connecting words have been forgotten by all parties involved.

Unfortunately she brought with her several things, including a bit of a twinkle in her eyes and a bit of a glower on her face. She also brought peanut butter, a comb, and a roll of paper towels.

This was met with peals of laughter and some dancing of the feet. Mother grinned a strange grin. Someone asked mother whatever she was planning to do with the peanut butter, seeing as how we had only finished breakfast and were clearly not at all hungry enough for sandwiches. Quickly, however, her intentions became evident.
There was much fussing, and sticky parts abounded everywhere. Someone had to hold the paper towels, and someone had to hold onto the peanut butter, and mother had to hold on to Trystan, who's attitude became full of scowls and growls the stickier he became.
Poor Trystan. At one point the jolly little man even begged to have his head shaved along the order of his Uncle Jake's. We think that mother entertained this idea for a while. Not only did she indeed SAY that she was entertaining the idea, she LOOKED as if she was entertaining the idea. Then, SQUISH, in just the right moment before drastic things would begin to occur, the last of the gum came free from Trystan's hair!! There was much dancing, laughing, and checking to be absolutely certain that there was no more gum hiding on his person.
So, quite luckily, Trystan attended his preschool graduation in much the same hairy state in which he had cutely spent the year. However, though he may have looked the same, he was much wiser. He learned a great lesson.

Never give an angry mother peanut butter.

Wordless Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Up went the pool.

If I ever need to write another resume, I can now add pool assembly to my experience.

Mom, Christina, Latisha, and I spent the weekend assembling Mom's new 18' pool. Wet denim, sarcasm, sore fingers, a twisted kneecap, great amounts of handwringing and billions of gallons of water were involved. There was also a little hair raising part where the men had to get involved with a sledgehammer while the women hid their eyes and prayed.

One of my favorite parts was where three tired women gave up trying to stay dry, only to remember that Mom's clothes dryer was, um, out of order.

But the fruit was endured by all on Memorial Day. We braved the icy depths and watched each other's purple lips tremble in the rain and thunder as the children splashed and swam and made us nervous wrecks with their fearlessness. Isaac was obsessed with swimming under water. Alyza was so very excited about anything pink that was floating in the water. Trystan repeatedly dodged any and all safety devices. The adults laughed like crazy that the rain was warmer than the water we were swimming in, and watched for lightning.

Wonderful fun!!

in which nothing and much happened...

I love the things that come out of the mouths of mothers everywhere. Things you simply should not have to say. Words that should not, in a sane world, be put in the same sentence.

"...So who glued the rocks to the patio?"

I should not have to ask. It sounds absurd once it comes out of my mouth, and indeed, I know the answer. But the why is always entertaining, even though for safety reasons I MUST NOT SMILE.

What things have you had to say lately?

Spring fun 2009

Easter 2009